Here comes the Sun.

OK, I realise it might be very here today and gone tomorrow but here comes the sun and isn’t it nice. I mean, doesn’t it fill you with, I don’t know…buttery goodness.

I don’t know about you but (and I promise this isn’t a euphemism) can’t you feel even amongst all this disease and plague, the sap rising? The thing is, for me my sap is so risen that this little blast of the suns rays has set me to explode.

Doesn’t it make you feel reborn, refreshed, re-jigged and renewed? Don’t you feel like that after the two worst months of the year, January and February, you have come out of hibernation? You have woken up. Your senses are doing what they are supposed to do and er…sensing. There’s new sniffable scents in the air and a feeling of new life. OK, it’s a cliché but just for a moment, doesn’t it actually feel good to be alive? Like there’s something new waiting for you just around the corner. A new experience. A new sensation…a new person, a new friend or, perish the thought, a lover? OO-er missus.

I don’t know about you, but I feel part of something.

Yes, it’s something to do with nature (‘the nature of things’). But it’s also a bit (a lot) more than that. Like we’re (I don’t want to speak for you so I’ll stick with ‘I’)…like we’re part of something bigger. I can feel a connection.

Don’t worry I’m not getting religious here (but it’s OK if you are) but it’s like I’ve woken up to the gang I belong to. You know the gang I mean…the human race. Today I feel ‘the Oneness’…and I like it. And I’m going to make the best of it because I’m an old cynical soldier and I know it won’t last for long. I’m going to make the best of it while I can and would ask you to let go of whatever is holding you back and join in.

Take a deep breath…and feel it. Hold on to it (not your breath – too long and you will go purple and die). Hold on to that good feeling. Feel it moving through your body like the pure energy it is. Take strength from it. Let it power you through the rest of your day. It’s a golden light full of peace and energy. It’s vibrant. It’s powerful and while you have it nothing can touch you. It’s a positive energy that drives you forward.

Of course,  the thing is, the appearance of the sun I mean, the here comes the sun vibe is just an aid. It helps. And at the moment, as we have all been suffering a little bit, it’s just what we need. A pick-me-up. Because the good days have been harder to find lately and indeed, some of us have maybe lost the skill of ‘feeling better’, the sun is there to remind us. (Personally, for me the rain does the same). All is not lost.

And when this burst of sun is gone as it will, (we are still in February don’t forget), don’t despair. Wrap yourself in your imagination.

And Don’t Scoff…no scoffing allowed.

The mind is a powerful piece of fleshy machinery and we don’t use it enough because we’re too busy (yes you’ve guessed it), scoffing.

scoffing

(you are however, allowed to scoff at this)

adjective

Contemptuous or ironic in manner or wit:

Close your eyes, get comfortable, relax and remember the warmth of the sun on your back and your face. Draw strength, feel good about yourself.

You are OK. 

You are special.

You are unique.

And there is no-one else in the whole of this huge world that is anything like you.

The Beast from The East

I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I am with The Beast from The East. More a Pussy than a Beast.

We were promised howling winds and snowstorms and what do we get, a couple of pathetic Narnia type flurries and a snowball’s chance in hell of making a er…snowball. All in all, I feel cheated.

I was on standby, shovel in hand ready to clear driveways (for old people) and spread salt but nothing. I was ready to get the dogs out and build a log cabin if necessary but as I said…nothing, zilch. I’d wasted a whole day watching endless episodes of ‘Yukon men’ of whatever it’s called in the hope of picking up a few survival tips. The pages of notes I took on how to survive a week in a snow drift are of now of no use whatsoever. Did I say, how cheated I feel.

What use is a weather forecast if it’s all lies, rumours and false flags. I am so angry that I could write a letter of complaint to the BBC…in fact…

Dear BBC,

I wish to complain about the total inaccuracy of the weather forecast especially the bit that appertains to Stratford upon Avon. I have been watching the BBC for most of my life and it is obvious that standards have dropped tremendously. You should know that if Nadhim Zahawi wasn’t my MP I would write to him.

It is all very well using complicated graphics and attractive personnel (both men and women) to deliver the forecast, but the glamourous approach means nothing if what is delivered does not come to pass.  Your use of resident eye-candy i.e.

the beast from the eastCarol Kirkwood  the beast from the eastShafali Ozathe beast from the eastThomasz Shafernaker

…(for the ladies and the homosexual population) are an obvious ploy to take our minds off the sad fact that predicting the weather is beyond you and your organisation. I am one of those not easily fooled and can see through your little game.

While I’m about it, I would also like to complain about the repartee that is commonly shared between newscaster and weather person and remind you that both parties have a serious job to do. I feel it would be wise to leave the jokes and light-hearted chatter to games show hosts and those paid vast amounts of license fee money, like Graham Norton.  I would feel better about the whole situation if you gave it up for a bad job and admitted you are devoid of any skill in the weather department.

I remain your obedient servant,

The Stratfordian.the stratfordian

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