No rest for the shitting dogs of Stratford upon Avon.
A spokesperson for the Stratford upon Avon police (A.C.D. Animal crap division) said today…
‘All our officers undergo an intensive training period at the end of which they are able to identify at least thirty types of animal waste product eminating from the bowel area. They are trained to work in all types of weather and perhaps more importantly at night where their training enables them to identify animal faeces by smell alone’.
I wanted to congratulate the new (ish) owners of the Stratford upon Avon Heraldand their successful (at least I think so) attempt in giving readers a proper local paper.
At last we find numerous articles, something more interesting than the obituary column (although I must admit that old habits die hard and it’s still the first place I go).
Readable print is also a big bonus along with the fact that it is at last possible to unfurl the paper in a high wind. All in all, a good job, I just hope it continues.
The misery comes in the form of yet another mealy-mouthed article written by The Leader of Stratford District Councilas part of his, ‘District Matters’ column.
Basically this week we have a breakdown (in more ways than one) of what is to come in terms of our personal finances. Or, as I like to call it, our choices between ‘Heating & Eating’.
Anyway, on he rambles about how tough it is going to get, and we might as well kill ourselves now (I put that in). And above all we find out what has caused this terrible tumble into the mouth of hell.