the stratfordianI am aware that in these unusual times there are probably more important things to write about than ‘The mysterious case of the incessantly barking dog of Trinity Mead’. But this is something that has been concerning me for some time now. And as the strange effects of these plague-ridden times change our lives both physically and mentally, that concern has been growing causing my to ponder on the mystery all times of the day and night. So please, bear with me as I get this off my chest.

It happens every morning I think, between 9.30/10.30. It doesn’t necessarily wake me up, it just cuts through the silence that is Trinity Mead that time of day.

I ought to say, that because the barking is probably half a mile away the volume doesn’t bother me. It’s nothing like the sounds we suffer when my close neighbours decide to have sex on the lawn. In the mysterious case of the incessantly barking dog of Trinity Mead, decibels are no problem. However, what I do find disturbing is the bark that this animal emits.

The bark is constant. Woof, woof, woof, woof, constantly. Never varying in tone or volume it goes on and on. I have counted twenty ‘woofs/barks one after another before the demented dog takes a breath and begins the cycle again. This, by my calculations can go on for as long as twenty minutes before, mysteriously, it has gone as quickly as it started. Someone, the owner of the beast obviously, is letting the dog out to do its ablutions and bark itself to madness before taking it back into the hell that the dog lives in.

A couple of things.

  1. This dog is, by now, obviously bonkers. I dread to think of the conditions it and its owner live in.
  2. I worry about the neighbours. The people who live next door to this torture. They would have to be tone deaf not to let this strange animal bother them. I ask myself, why haven’t they put a stop to it? Perhaps they are scared? Maybe so frightened to complain about the mysterious case of the incessantly barking dog of Trinity Mead, that they are prepared to live with it and like the poor, sad animal go mad.

Let me say, that I am not a dog hater. I would like a dog myself but I’m afraid that I don’t have the discipline to rise at a certain hour to feed it and take it for a walk and wee-wees. Apart from that and the fact that my wife won’t let me have one is why I don’t have a pet. Also, I not overly fond of the fact that they have a tendency to lick their nether regions before they lick you.

Anyway, the mysterious case of the incessantly barking dog of Trinity Mead needs looking into. Some community minded person (not me, I’ve done my bit. I’ve raised the issue), needs to solve the mystery and put the sad animal and the crazed neighbours to rest.

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