deadly moped gang (1)

Infamous Stratford moped gang, the H.A.D. (Handbags at Dawn) boys have finally called a truce with arch enemies, the D.I.M ‘S (Dancing In the Moonlight).

Based on opposite sides of the river both Stratford upon Avon moped gangs have had long running disagreements with each other since they were formed at the height of the moped craze that swept Britain in 1962.

‘Thumpy’ McTough  (87) leader of the H.A.D. gang (so called because of the habit of leaving cards at the side of their victims unconscious bodies that state ‘You have just been H.A.D.’), told the Stratfordian today…

‘We had planned to meet last year on the Bancroft for a final set-to that would have decided things once and for all but because of hospital appointments and eye-tests we had to cancel. The punch-up had been rescheduled for this weekend but unfortunately the Coronavirus has put paid to that’. After much deliberation, we decided to call a truce’.

Head Honcho of the D.I.M.’S, (the Dancing In the Moonlight gang. Named because of their insistence on interpreting everything using dance), Nigel Longbothom (85), told the Stratfordian that though disappointed…

‘…it makes sense. We had been preparing for the occasion for some months now and to be quite honest it had become a pain what with it interfering with dance classes and other important stuff. Much as we have  had it in for the H.A.D.’S we decided that the grudge match had gone on for far too long with no settlement in sight. We’ve therefore decided, each to his own. We will be sticking to our side of the river and them to theirs’.

 

Stratford upon Avon Police issued the following statement;

‘To say we are delighted with this outcome would be an understatement. We see this as first step in the dissolution of these gangs, both of which have been an increasing nuisance over many years. Even as time has gone by and gang members have aged, thereby having to  swap their mopeds for disability vehicles, there has still been an increase in drive-by bag snatching.

These crimes are as one can imagine committed at an extremely slow speed allowing us to arrest and punish all the perpetrators, but they never seem to learn.

If indeed this is the beginning of the end then we as law-enforcement officers can do nothing but rejoice’.

deadly moped gang (2)

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