new yellow binTHIS POST NOT ADVISED FOR PEOPLE OF A NERVOUS DISPOSITION.

It has just been announced that Stratford Town Council are to introduce a new yellow ‘body parts’ bin.

A spokesman for the council refuse department, Silas Bucket told The Stratfordian today that…

‘The service fills a huge gap in the market. It will cater for those body parts that people, or customers as we like to refer to them are continually disposing of. Of course, here I’m talking about…

  • nail clippings, both finger and toe.
  • Surplus hair from areas such as the nose and the ear. (Pubic hair is accepted but we would ask that this would be bagged separately).
  • Wax and grease deposits from personal cleansing. (Ear and Nose)
  • Bodily fluids and solid waste materials WILL NOT be accepted and should be disposed of in the usual manner.

We believe that there is a profitable market in the recycling of the above materials and will at the end of every calendar month be producing an account of any profit made. Which in turn will be used to improve other council services.

We are one of the first Councils in the country to introduce this service and hope it will be a success.

In order for it to be successful, we hope that the users of the service will not abuse it by putting larger body parts in the distinctive yellow bins. We should warn customers that if this is ignored there will likely be prosecutions.

The service will begin probably late summer. There will be a yearly charge if £48.’

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