Social Engineering rife in Stratford upon Avon

By The Stratfordian | March 15, 2020
stratford upon Avon Council Headquarters

Stratford upon Avon Council Headquarters

After years of denial a Stratford upon Avon spokesperson from the Housing Department has admitted that the practise of Social Engineering has been in use in Stratford upon Avon for many years.

George Bent from the Council said today…

‘It has been the policy for many years within the Town Council Housing Department to move known beggars, ne-er do wells, foot-pads, cut-purses, highwaymen and hobble-de-hoys to particular areas in the borough simply, so we can keep an eye on them.

At one time we just concentrated on the known undesirables like the Pirate families that gravitated to this area after years at sea.However, priorities have changed.

The problem has grown so significantly in the past 50 odd years, we now include lesser known factions such as heretics, witches and the long-term unemployed in our calculations. It makes sense from our point of view. Keeping certain peoples in certain areas makes everyday tasks like rent collection and eviction a lot easier.  

The good thing is, we know our strategies have worked by looking at the downturn in complaints from Posh People on the Tiddington and Banbury roads.’

Long-time resident of Tiddington road Mr Langfield Longffield told the Stratfordian that since the policy was introduced…

‘…life has taken on a much more pleasant hue. It’s hard to believe now but at one time my wife and I had a couple with ten children living next door. It was a terrible problem for us. As you can see we back onto the golf course and one never knows who might be passing. Anyway, the man of the house was a known vagabond and made a living, if one can call it that, cleaning windows. The wife? Well let’s just say, she’d been seen shopping in Aldi on more than one occasion.

Of course, as you might expect we reported all this, but nothing was done for years. It wasn’t until he flatly refused to recycle that the Council began to take notice. And then one day they were gone. Just like that. Gone. Vanished into the ether. Thankfully we were able to buy the vacant property and now we rent it out to business-people and the like.’


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