Powerful Stratford upon Avon earthquake moves woman’s ornaments 3 inches to the left

By | 7th March 2020

earthquake damageRuby Murray (87) of Stratford upon Avon had two major shocks when she awoke on Monday morning. Not only did she sleep through Stratford upon Avon’s first major major earthquake for 50 years (3.1 Richter scale), she also found her complete collection of favourite ornaments had moved 3 inches to the left.

‘I was horrified’ said a tearful Mrs Murray.

‘…another half an inch and the whole lot would have slid off their specially assigned shelf into Arthur’s (husband) tropical fish tank’.

Mrs Murray who has been collecting ornaments for over 40 years and is believed to have the largest collection of ‘Little Bo-Peeps’ (1000) in the country, told the Stratfordian that her husband had also slept through that evening’s monumental earthquake and it was only the fact ‘that he woke up with a headache, blurred vision and was more grumpier than usual’ that she knew ‘something was wrong’.

The 3.1 earthquake caused some minor damage around the town with the head falling of Shakespeare’s statue on the Bancroft (see above) and pavements in the town centre, cracking (no change there then – Ed).

Although no human casualties were reported, the river’s entire population of swans, geese, ducks and other feathered varieties have gone missing. Keeper of the Queens Swans Mr Cereal Ohanaranoranoran said today, ‘This was to be expected. They’re not stupid.They will return when they’re hungry’.

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