More things to complain about.

Stepping for a moment outside of my brief of the Stratford upon Avon area. This week I have come across a couple of things that I need to vent my own personal spleen about. Both items coming within the realm of ‘Confusing and crafty language’.

My first spleen venting complaint concerns the crafty bastards at British Gas and the two-timing language that pours forth willy-nilly from their lying lips.

I recently had a new boiler fitted and to cut a long story short had to call them back for a couple of reasons.

1. They disturbed a water pipe during the fitting causing a leak which heavily stained the ceiling.
2. The boiler vibrated loudly (except, as you might expect when an engineer was present).

I’m pleased to say on this occasion that both issues were eventually fixed.

1. Painted ceiling (at their expense) & 2. Foam baffle fitted.
And although precious time was taken up, I was satisfied.


…and putting everything above to one side. This ‘fair’ treatment did not continue.

We have recently been informed by British gas that our expected FREE FIRST SERVICE (that we were told was a thing), was actually not a thing as (get this) …the first free service is actually included in the installation of the boiler. EH!? Work that one out. In my mind and in the mind of everyone I have spoken to (including the British Gas rep on the end of the phone) was baffled by this.

Surely, INSTALLATION is exactly that.

the action of installing someone or something, or the state of being installed:

Surely ‘First Free Service’ comes into play after a reasonable amount of time to check that all is well SINCE the installation.

Not according to British gas.

I repeat what I was told; The free service is actually included in the INSTALLATION of the boiler.


Second spleen venting complaint.

…concerns Specsavers and their supposed, ‘Lifetime Guarantee of servicing’.

Watch out for this and what it really means.

Servicing a pair of glasses is to me a simple affair. My mistake was to think that servicing includes repair if needed.

Picture this:
One (let’s say the right side) arm of your expensive glasses through no fault of your own breaks/falls apart/drops off. You return to Specsavers expecting said glasses problem to be easily sorted because you were under the impression that said glasses came under the ‘Lifetime servicing’ agreement.


You will pay because the above problem is classed as a ‘repair’ and not ‘servicing’.

My point is this…if the above is classed as repair, then what actually is a servicing?

I ask this question in all innocence because a pair of glasses is obviously not a six-cylinder motor car with hundreds of moving parts. What on earth is there to service on a pair of spectacles?

Of course, this is all about the use of language and to put it bluntly…BULLSHIT.

In an effort to fill up advertising space and appear a caring organisation determined to keep a strong base of loyal customers, they (Specsavers & British Gas) are willing to engage in a shameful game of semantics and attempt (and eventually succeed) in baffling our simple brains with bollocks. Shame on them.

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Author: IanF

Ian is a Stratfordian and quite angry about all sorts of things, Local, National and in fact, everything World-Wide. For the sake of his mental health he has chosen to Vent his Spleen in a blog. He advises YOU dear reader to do the same.

I would be interested to know your thoughts...

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