old brown noseThanks to the tremendous rise in Child Poverty and the like, the House of Common’s Bars and smoke-filled rooms are abuzz with the rumour that Stratford upon Avon’s local MP ( *Nadhim Zahawi), is to be recommended for the position of Minister for Rickets, Polio (and other childhood diseases from the 1950’s).

Although the MP himself was unavailable for comment a spokesperson from Number 10 told The Stratfordian,

‘Although we cannot confirm or deny the present rumour it does seem feasible that a steady hand will be needed at the wheel especially as the advent of Brexit will mean the drugs needed to defeat these retro diseases, will be difficult to get. As Mr Zahawi is known for his wringing of hands and slight lowering of the head as the PM passes, we can think of no better man for the job, if such a role should come to pass of course’.

*Mr Zahawi was recently awarded the UHMSPM (The Uriah Heep Medal for Services to the Prime Minister).


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