Ginger-haired people asked to consider self-isolating

By The Stratfordian | March 16, 2020

ginger-hairedA missive from Stratford Town Council asking ‘Ginger-haired people to consider self-isolating’ came hot on the heels of growing concern for the elderly of Stratford upon Avon.

Councillor Barney Billingsgate (85) takes up the story,

‘First of all, I need to say that this is not an attack on those who have a full head of ginger hair. Some of my best friends are ginger and there is absolutely no prejudice on mine, on the Town Council’s part. This is merely an exercise to protect the elderly of Stratford upon Avon who make up 96% of the population.

For those who would criticise this policy I would ask them to re-consider and take note of the dark times we are living in regarding the Corona-virus and the goings-on at The Queen Vic. Our elderly are under a lot of pressure not knowing if they will be waking up in the morning alive or dead. With our well-thought out policy, waking up dead (in the morning) can be avoided in most cases.

I ask them to imagine the scenario whereby an older person already under pressure would simply not survive rounding a corner to suddenly find themselves confronted by ‘A Ginger’. The shock would be too much. It’s bad enough in more normal times but as it is, we are living on the edge. We must take precautions.

We have considered asking ‘Gingers’ to wear hats but it has been decided not only does that leave out those with ginger beards, it is also too much of an ask regarding civil liberties’.


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