The Stratfordian

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Town news

Fracking to begin in Bell Court over Winter

Stratford Town Council admitted today that fracking would begin in Bell Court over the winter months. A spokesperson for the Council said today,

‘A huge gas deposit was discovered under Bell Court during recent maintenance work. Such is the size of the field that the Council decided that this is a financial opportunity to good to miss. We decided that seeing as no-one ever visits Bell Court in the winter, we would take advantage of the lack of footfall and ask ‘Drilling by Birds’ to begin work early January 2020. We, before anyone asks, have also looked into the possibility of earthquake damage due to extraction, to buildings in the near vicinity and came to the conclusion that as Debenhams are leaving anyway, it didn’t really matter’.

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