‘Master Willies’, Stratford’s only Elizabethan sex shop has ceased trading after 70 years. Proprietor William Quickly said yesterday that…

‘Today is a very sad day. We have run this business for a very long time, but we have come to realise that what we offer is considered out-of-date and no longer wanted by the more sophisticated customer who requires and indeed expects battery operated products. This of course reflected on the popularity and therefore the sales of our Elizabethan Fun Pack. No-one wants a mahogany dildo anymore no matter how much craftmanship is involved. We tried adding to the Fun Pack a selection of Tudor remedies for Erectile Disfunction but unfortunately, eye of toad coupled with crushed spring lamb’s tail is not attractive to the more modern palate’.

 

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