‘Boredonna’ virus strikes again

By The Stratfordian | January 31, 2020
early stages

Man in early stages of ‘Boredonna’ virus

A member of the audience at the ‘Happy days are here again’ Brexit talk by local MP Nimby Zahawi-Heep, who came over a bit dodgy and collapsed has been confirmed as being the latest victim of the ‘Boredonna’ Virus.

A member of the public who wishes to remain anonymous and was at the MP’S talk said in a statement today…

‘Everything was going so well. Our beautiful MP Nimby Zahawi-Heep was well into his talk when I noticed the person opposite me begin to nod off. I thought at the time this was a bit odd as the tickets were £500 a shot and to go to sleep only three hours in was in my opinion a complete waste of money. Anyway, I decided to let him get on with it and take him to task at the end of the evening.

After another hour or two, I decided with some difficulty, to pull myself away from our MP’S exhilarating speech and check the sleeper out.  I glanced over.

To my horror, his skin had taken on a pallid, wrinkled look and he appeared covered in fine threads…as though a spider had spun a web over him. I knew I had to think on my feet. It was a toss-up between calling in the medics there and then and thereby interrupting our leader halfway through his speech, or being polite and waiting.  I must admit I did wonder what our respected and well-loved MP would do.

So, 45 minutes later after waiting until our Honourable Gentleman had finished, I immediately raised the alarm.’



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